Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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