Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I supernannyed him into submission
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
