hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
