everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
