whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Sex in the backyard? Check.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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