oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
