i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
