I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Randomize
