i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
