i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
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My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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