so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
