Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
