I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
