too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
