id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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