Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Randomize
