do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
