Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
