I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
