If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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