What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize