If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
