Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
