I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
