i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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