Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
