From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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