I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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