i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
