her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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