everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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