I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
