Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
