Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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