there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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