he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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