shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
