Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
