I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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