Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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