My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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