member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
