Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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