i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
