You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize