I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my poor anus
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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