and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
