so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
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So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
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If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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