Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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