I cockslap morals
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize