I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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