Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
