There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
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I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
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she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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